Nonexistent
by Se-No NewS
Summary: / Yaoi, Imperial Pair and Thrill Pair/ Atobe's nonexistent little sister comes back from America to steal his boyfriend, he is not amused. Fuji and Ryoma help out, because they can't stand an OOC Tezuka. Mary Sue Parody.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: ** Nonexistent

**Category: **Prince of Tennis

**Pairing:** Imperial Pair/Thrill Pair

**Genres: **Humor/Romance

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **/ Yaoi, Imperial Pair and Thrill Pair/ Atobe's nonexistent little sister comes back from America to steal his boyfriend, he is not amused. Fuji and Ryoma help out, because they can't stand an OOC Tezuka. Mary Sue Parody.

**A/N: **Just a fun Mary Sue Parody, please enjoy and please review!

* * *

A fair-haired girl of sixteen stood alone in the vast crowd, but then, Tokyo Airport was forever crowded. Even so, Camille Atobe stood out, easily. (After all, any member of the very distinguished Atobe family was doomed to stand out, made up, or otherwise). She clutched a white traveling case, deep gray eyes desperately searching the crowd for a familiar face. She found none.

Camille didn't consider herself gorgeous, although she had been told on many occasions that she was indeed lovely, with high cheekbones and a milky complexion, that didn't even need to be tainted by makeup to seem lovely. Her lips were naturally full and red, and eyes of steel gray. Her hair was dark, tied up now in a careless bun, with thin strands framing her delicate face.

Her choice was clothing was simple, but of course they were flattering. A pink tank-top that hugged her figure just right, and a pair of flowered caprice pants that her mother had given her before she left the States to come to Japan. Every time she wore these pants, she thought about her mother, of course the kindly woman hadn't been her real mother, but it had been a sorrowful parting anyway.

But now she was here, she would find him, she would find the Atobe family, she would find her long lost brother, Atobe Keigo, The one that gave her the special locket when she was shipped off to the orphanage at the tender age of five, because the Atobe family was suffering heavy debt and couldn't afford to keep two children, of course they had kept Keigo-niisan over her, he was the family diamond, after all, she was only the family pearl.

Her hand gripped the locket, "...I'm home, Keigo-niisan."

* * *

There was a grand limousine waiting outside of the airport and Camille marveled at it, until two men dressed in smart suits stepped forward, obviously picking her out from the crowd easily. She cowered, just a little, wondering who they were. They both looked to be in their twenties, and quite handsome.

The taller one approached her, "Miss...Camile?"

"You're..." She looked confused for a minute, and then Camille smiled, "You're Kazuki-kun, aren't you? You're Kazuki-san!" She looked at the other man, scrutinizing him for a long moment too, "And you're Yuu-san! I remember you!"

Both men laughed, "Sharp as ever, Miss Camille." Kazuki smiled and took her traveling case. "Come this way please, Yuu, don't just stand there, open the door for Miss Camille, and for heaven's sake, give her a coat, this is Tokyo, she'll freeze!" He smiled at her again, "I take it it was cold in LA?"

She gave him her perfect smile, "It was eighty degrees when I left LA." Yuu draped a coat over her shoulders, and she rewarded him with a perfect smile, and even Yuu blushed. "Thank you, Yuu-san."

Yuu opened the door for her, and she climbed in, snuggling the coat, she had forgotten how cold Tokyo was, which was really not that surprising, she'd lived in LA for most of her life, after all. "Things really changed when I was gone, didn't it, Kazuki-san?"

"Of course, Miss Camille." Kazuki turned, "But of course we've all missed you. Young Master Keigo especially, of course. He will be thrilled to see you, I'm sure."

Camille laughed, "Well, I can't wait to see him either, it's actually been too long." She hugged her long legs to herself and sighed a happy sigh, "I'm just really happy to be home."

* * *

"But Fuji's letting Echizen feed him ice cream! Tezuka, you could at least _try_ to be more romantic and not let ore-sama do at the work..." Atobe Keigo complained, giving his more often than not expressionless boyfriend a poke in the ribs, he had just fought tooth and nail for permission to sit on Tezuka's lap, he had a feeling that ice cream feeding was far off, but then, there was no harm in trying.

Tezuka fidgeted a little, "But we're _not_ Fuji and Echizen. And don't poke me." And so saying, he fed himself a generous spoonful of raspberry cheesecake ice cream. And besides, he thought that letting Atobe sit on his lap was already letting him do a lot. "And you're heavy."

"Why do you have to be so degrading?" And just for that, Atobe just had to poke him again, if Tezuka wasn't so damn sexy and responsive in private, Atobe would have lost hope for him a long time ago.

"I'm not degrading you. I'm just telling you the truth." Tezuka said calmly, he scooped up another generous spoonful of ice cream and brought it up level to Atobe's mouth, "I never said I didn't like it. Have some ice cream."

Atobe turned and glared at Tezuka. "I _hate_ you." But he melted when he saw the spoonful of ice cream and ate it, leaning back against Tezuka's shoulder with a sigh, "So you're allowed to feed me, but ore-sama isn't allowed to feed you. That's not fair."

Across the table, Fuji Syusuke and Echizen Ryoma were in a similar position, but for them, it was much more compromising.

"Fuji-_senpai_, stop molesting me." The olive haired boy growled, "We're in a—ahh, ice cream parlor."

"I know, that's why I'm being very careful." Fuji just smiled and settled his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder and raised a hand to caress one crimson cheek, who knew where his other hand was? But even so, for all of his complaints, Echizen Ryoma seemed to be enjoying himself.

Fuji saw Atobe watching with a forlorn expression, and after he swallowed, he said, "Saa...Atobe, don't be jealous, it took a long time for me to convince Ryoma to sit on my lap too."

Atobe didn't look convinced, "How long did it take you to get him to do _that_?"

"What?" Fuji looked mildly confused, and then obviously his unseen hand did something or the other and Echizen jolted, biting his lip to keep from whimpering. "This?"

"Fuji-senpai, I'm going to kill you." Echizen gritted out between clenched teeth.

"No you won't." Fuji smiled, not at all perturbed. "Not a very long time, but then, I'm persuasive."

Atobe glared at him, "Are you implying that Ore-sama is not persuasive?" He looked at Tezuka, "Aren't you going to correct him?"

Tezuka looked thoughtful for a moment, and then shrugged, "You know it's not true." He gently kissed the side of Atobe's neck. Then another kiss, and Atobe shuddered. "And besides, you know you're persuasive other ways."

Atobe melted then, and he shifted so that he was straddling Tezuka's lap, facing him. "Tezuka..." A knowing smirk was on his lips as he leaned close, and then just when their lips were two inches apart--

--_RING!! RING!!_

Atobe cursed, while both Fuji and Echizen looked amused, Tezuka, on the other hand, looked disappointed. Atobe heaved a sigh and dug out his phone, "Hello?" He listened for a few minutes, his face going from pissed to confusion. "...Oh, all right. I'll be home." And then he hung up.

Tezuka prompted, "Atobe?"

"No big deal," Atobe said, "Some girl's coming home for dinner, they want me to be there." He was quick to add, once he saw Tezuka's expressionless mask start to waver, "Don't look at me like that, you're coming with me." And then he smiled. Atobe leaned down and kissed him. For longer than usual, so that meant that Tezuka's guard was down. He loved those moments most of all.

"She sounds like an important guest, for them to call you home." Tezuka was uncertain, his fingers tangled carelessly up in Atobe's hair, hair he was very proud of, but when the person that mussed it was Tezuka, he wasn't about to complain.

"All the more reason for you to be there. Come on." Atobe slid reluctantly from Tezuka's lap, glancing to Fuji and Echizen, "You two need a ride home?"

Fuji shook his head, "We'll manage, have fun with dinner."

* * *

The Atobe mansion was as grand as ever, and ever as imposing. Tezuka was impressed every time. Atobe parked the car in one of the five garages and unbuckled his seatbelt, Tezuka stole a glance at him, and then he leaned over the console and rested his head on Atobe's shoulder for a long minute.

Atobe was surprised, but then he wasn't, his fingers found Tezuka's neck and rubbed and absently, "What?"

He could feel the other relax against him. "Who is this girl? Are they trying to get you married off again?"

Atobe bit his lip, "Ore-sama hates you when you're talk like that, ore-sama is not some thing that can be married off. They didn't tell me a thing, they just told me it was someone that I would want to meet."

"Like?"

Atobe shrugged, "No idea." He leaned down and his lips met Tezuka's in a gentle kiss again, "Come on, I like you possessive, but you know nothing's going to happen, I've chased you for too long for anything to happen."

Tezuka was reluctant as he took Atobe's hand and let the other lead him into the mansion, the two bodyguards that usually followed Atobe everywhere let them in, Yuu said, "Young Master Keigo! And...Tezuka-san, good, you have returned. Miss Camille been on the edge of her seat to meet you."

"Who?" Atobe looked confused.

"Keigo-niisan! You've come home!" A petite raven haired girl rushed to him, eyes glistening with emotional tears or something like. "I've missed you, Keigo-niisan! I've missed you so much! You look like you haven't changed at all!"

Atobe looked obviously confused as she latched on to him, Tezuka too, looked rather alarmed. "...It's great that you've missed ore-sama, but...who are you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: ** Nonexistent

**Category: **Prince of Tennis

**Pairing:** Imperial Pair/Thrill Pair

**Genres: **Humor/Romance

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **/ Yaoi, Imperial Pair and Thrill Pair/ Atobe's nonexistent little sister comes back from America to steal his boyfriend, he is not amused. Fuji and Ryoma help out, because they can't stand an OOC Tezuka. Mary Sue Parody.

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews! I was reading this chapter though, and for some reason, it didn't sound as funny as I thought it would be. Maybe this is going to turn out to be like dark comedy? They need a genre for that.

* * *

"_...It's great that you've missed ore-sama, but...who are you?" _

Camille stepped back in obvious disbelief, though her hands still held fast to her brother's shirt, he even smelled the way she remembered him, faint cologne, expensive cologne. Her eyes watered, looking up at him in complete adoration. "Keigo-niisan...you don't remember me?"

"_Niisan_?" Keigo-niisan looked confused, "I'm...I'm not your brother." And then he turned to Kazuki and Yuu, who looked at him expectantly, "You know that, Kazuki, Yuu, I don't have a sister. Ore-sama is an only child. Who let her in here?"

"But Miss Camille is your sister, Young Master Keigo." Yuu said calmly, "If you have any doubt, you can go ask the mistress. She was the one that wrote to Miss Camille for her to return."

"My mother did _what_?" Keigo-niisan was more and more confused, and Camille just stared at her bare feet, "But...I _don't_ have a sister, she can't just bring back a random person and call her my sister." He turned to the boy next to him, whose hand he was holding, "...I don't have a sister, right, Tezuka?"

The other boy, Tezuka met her eyes then, and Camille almost melted then and there, he had the most gorgeous eyes, and most gorgeous face, the most gorgeous hair, pretty much gorgeous everything! Keigo-niisan had good taste, she had to commend him for that. Camille smiled shyly at Tezuka.

"I'm really Keigo-niisan's sister, but we were really young when I had to be sent away to an orphanage. The family was in debt, and could only afford to keep Keigo-niisan." She told him, with a faint blush tinting her cheeks.

Tezuka turned to Atobe, "Your family was in debt?" Of all things that he could say about the Atobe, being in debt was not one of them, most definitely.

"Of course not. I'm sure stocks went down a couple of times, but we're never in debt." Atobe said, "See? She doesn't know anything about the Atobe family, if she'd knew us, she'd never accuse us of being in debt." That was almost the same thing as accusing them for murder. It was treason.

Tezuka wasn't so sure, after all, this Camille, she certainly looked as if she belonged to the Atobe family. She was...and honestly, Tezuka Kunimitsu didn't think positive thoughts about any girl since he had Atobe, but this girl...she was something else. He could get lost staring at her eyes all day, they were exactly like Atobe's...

"Tezuka." Atobe was tugging at his hand. "_Tezuka_."

Tezuka shook himself, he was Atobe's boyfriend, after all, it was bad to think these things about another girl, even if she claimed to be Atobe's sister. "Yes?" He touched a hand to his glasses, now feeling rather awkward because of these sudden awkward feelings.

"Let's go up to my room, ore-sama wants to take a bath, I'm sticky." With that, Atobe pulled Tezuka resolutely towards the stairs, he glanced at Camille without much interest and then glared at Yuu and Kazuki, "When I come downstairs, I want to find this girl gone. Take her back to wherever she came from."

"But Young Master Keigo, the mistress--"

Atobe sighed, "I don't care what my mother says, if she can invite random people in the house, I can kick the random people out. Now do as I say, come on, Tezuka."

But even as Atobe pulled him upstairs, Tezuka's gaze lingered on Camille Atobe, Atobe's sister or not, she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

* * *

Atobe's room was just like a hotel suite, it even had its own bathroom with a jacuzzi, it was one of the things that Tezuka liked best about Atobe's room. As they were waiting for the water to fill up, they dipped their feet in, and Atobe glanced at him again.

"You're being weird." It was a strong accusation, since Atobe had never felt the need to accuse his boyfriend of anything.

"Why?"

"Because..." Atobe shrugged, "You were staring at her all strange, ore-sama can't let that go. Besides, what's so hard about admitting that she's not my sister and I've never seen her in my life? You know I don't have a sister, Tezuka."

"Well, I know that you don't have one, but you might, I mean, you were younger then. And she was sent away when she was young, you just don't remember."

Atobe looked scandalized, "I can't believe you, you actually _believe_ I have a sister."

"I never said that. She...looked like you, I was just surprised." Tezuka said.

"But you're defending her." Atobe said, "And you have the gall to even _suggest_ that ore-sama looks like her."

Tezuka shook his head, a rare smile flickered about his lips, Atobe was jealous. He leaned over and kissed the other boy firmly on the lips, and then his hands deftly unbuttoned the few buttons that Atobe had missed when he'd been fidgeting, "I love you when you seem so jealous."

Atobe bit his lip, and resisted, only for a minute, "I don't love it when you're such an insensitive jerk." it wasn't often then, when Tezuka said these nonsensical things that Atobe thought his ideal boyfriend should always say, but then...maybe because Tezuka said them only once in a while made it more meaningful. He gave in, and felt his shirt being slid off from his body.

"You know this is hardly my forte." Tezuka said, leaning to press a lingering kiss to Atobe's collarbone. "You ask so many things of me all at once, I can hardly comply to everything." He nuzzled a patch of skin, which immediately grew warm. "Pick one."

Atobe unbuttoned Tezuka's shirt and reluctantly moved away to turn off the water, the tub was full, but only briefly. And then he tossed the other's shirt aside and plucked off his glasses, set them with exaggerated care on the side. "Which one's easier?" He asked.

Tezuka took off the rest of his clothes and slid in the tub, well, at least he wasn't shy about doing that much anymore. Atobe followed suit and settled in the warm water, close enough to his boyfriend so that their knees touched.

Tezuka said, "I don't care how easy or hard it is, the one most important to you."

He had to smile at that, Atobe even forgave him for being disagreeable in the ice cream parlor, if it meant that Tezuka had somehow managed to say these words. Atobe shook his head, and brought up a hand to trickle warm water on Tezuka's chest. "It's all right. Ore-sama likes to be the perfect one, if you were perfect too, I don't know what I'd do. Besides, I like your flaws. It's endearing when you somehow overcome them."

Tezuka seemed to consider the statement for a moment, and then he turned in mild confusion, "Are you trying to mock me?" He asked simply.

Atobe's smile faltered again, and he dropped his hand on Tezuka's knee, heaved a heavy sigh. "...No, quite the contrary, I was actually trying to give you a compliment."

"Oh, I see." Tezuka said, in a voice that obviously implied that he didn't see at all. "I should apologize and thank you, then."

Atobe sighed, "...You really can't pick up a sense of sarcasm, can you? It's all right, you don't have to apologize." His hand found Tezuka's, and idly laced them together, "Don't change at all, I like you the way you are."

Another rare smile, and Atobe was content. He closed his eyes.

* * *

"I can't understand why Keigo-niisan doesn't remember me, Mom. I don't get it." Camile sat at the grand dinner table, Keigo-niisan's mother (and her own real mother too!) to her right, "I don't understand. We used to be so close, he can't just not remember me like that."

"Well, you know how stubborn Keigo can be, he's gotten used to being an only child, you just have to give him—oh, Keigo, Tezuka-kun."

Originally, Atobe had been in a good mood, Tezuka, and his bath had helped a lot, but then, seeing the girl from earlier seated where HE was supposed to sit. Unforgivable. Absolutely unforgivable. He stopped in the archway of the dining room. Tezuka stopped with him.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. But I'm going to tell you a few things, Ore-sama doesn't remember you, because I don't have a sister. I'm used to being an only child for a reason, I've always _been_ an only child."

"Keigo." His mother said warningly.

"What? You're just going to let her pull one over you too? You want me to believe that I had a sister, who was sent away to an orphanage, because we were too poor to feed two children? Because we were in _debt_? This is preposterous, mother."

His mother gave him a strange look, "Of course we were in debt. That's why we had to rent out this house and go live in Germany for a couple of years while I worked at a laundromat. Don't you remember the apartment?"

Atobe could only stare at his mother, "We have a three-story vacation house in Germany. What apartment? I spent my seventh birthday in the vacation house. I remember. And you've never worked in a laundromat."

His head was starting to hurt, what was all this? "How old was I, then, when we were in debt?"

"You were seven, we sent Camille away two weeks after your birthday, you cried for weeks, remember?"

"No." Atobe said with no hesitation.

Atobe's mother looked exasperated, "Keigo, I understand that having your sister back in your life now will be a big adjustment for you, but being in denial won't help anything, now come and eat dinner."

Atobe sighed, he had lost this round. He took a seat, and Tezuka took the seat next to him.

"Oh, and of course you should introduce Camille to Tezuka-kun." His mother admonished him, while the girl sat there looking so pathetic. "What's gotten into you? You're so rude all of this sudden."

Atobe sighed, it seemed useless to try convincing his mother any further. He glanced at Tezuka, and then the girl, looking superbly irritated. "This is my boyfriend, Tezuka Kunimitisu." He said, only because he had to.

The girl blushed, "Nice to meet you, Tezuka-san. I'm Camille Atobe, Atobe's sister."

"No, you're not."

"_Keigo_." His mother's tone was dangerously soft.

Tezuka said, "Of course the pleasure's all mine, Camille. You can just call me Kunimitsu, I think it's a lot easier."

Atobe was just about to wash down a mouthful of spaghetti with sparkling water, when Tezuka answered, and after the answer was complete, he spewed water and spaghetti in the most inelegant way possible onto the table, turning to Tezuka in disbelief. "_Tezuka_!"

Tezuka looked at him, "What?"

"You graced her with a full sentence! And she's allowed to call you Kunimitsu?" Atobe was furious. "This girl isn't my sister! You know that! Why are you so out of character all the sudden?"

The look Tezuka gave him...Atobe didn't recognize it at all. He felt just a bit panicky.

Camille just giggled, "Kunimitsu is still a mouthful though. How about...Kuni-chan? I think it sounds cute. Keigo-niisan has really good taste in boys, I think."

Tezuka replied with a straight face, "I think Kuni-chan sounds fine, and thank you."

Atobe got up from the table, "Excuse me, ore-sama needs to go throw up."


End file.
